Sunday, June 01, 2008

 

Hubbas for your humor-wantin' trubbas

1. A ha! On the market less than 24 hours and already we've had a "looker" come through. I told you Saint Joseph a la Jimmy Hoffa in the backyard was the way to go. Though, I fear it is likely that they might:
A) have benefited from seeing the last, holdout magnet I was allowed to keep on the fridge until yesterday when they made me take it down in favor of a totally empty, naked fridge. it read: Everything I know, I learned in prison. I feel it says a lot about us as homeowners.
B) have spent less time admiring our kickass digs and more time pouring over my sickeningly adorable but currently invalid cat who is bearing the sad mark of his recent facial surgery (long story, thanks for asking, he's fine. Cross your fingers on biospy results, eh?): the dreaded pet collar cone. The bill read: Elizabethan Collar, $8.35. Entertaining pictures to follow.
C) want to buy the house, but only on the contingency that we include said sickeningly adorable but currently invalid cat who steals your heart. Cha. Not a chance.

2. Cause it made me laugh:
3. In a recent "how to be awesome at everything, you strong, proud, independant woman-you" article in some nameless magazine I happened to be reading, they offered advice and tips about everything from organized kitchen junk drawers, bathroom stalls sans TP but specifically: on wooing your corporate I.T. guy into being a little more affable when your I.T. needs are severe. The thought was that you need to meet him where he is. Tell him a joke that will loosen the personality muzzle that he uses to keep his emotions from being vulnerable in a non-avitar world (I can say all of this without malice. I married a computer geek.). The joke offered by said periodical was this:
Q: What did Spock find in the Enterprise's toilet?
A: The captain's log.
I'm on the brink of creating an I.T. problem just so that I can try it on someone who potentially will appreciate all aspects of the joke. I urge you to try it on your respective I.T. peeps.

4. I was recently at an event where I was, by and large, unknown to the majority of the other guests there. Like the go-getter I pride myself on being, and the extrovert that Myers-Briggs claims I am, I put myself out there. Strike up conversations, break the ice. I encountered one individual seated next to me. I opened with a laugh line. The man turned his head to me, expressionless. "I really ought to tell you that I have no sense of humor, " he said plainly. I chuckled and elbowed him, "Then it's going to be a long night sitting next to me. Careful, I might make you laugh." The Mister leans over and whispers, "No, really. Knew him in college. He has no sense of humor." I mean, who admits that -- no sense of humor. Everyone, even the non-funnies, claim to have a great sense of humor. It's that part of our human DNA that makes us all believe we're great drivers. Could you even imagine knowing and accepting that about yourself -- you couldn't make/take a joke? Jesus, what kind of tv programming does he watch? It boggles the mind.


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