This won't hurt a bit...

My apologies for keeping you all waiting so long. That is, if any of you continue to be waiting. After all this time, I'm wagering this blog has tumble weeds and sounds like crickets chirping.

But, I come bearing pictures. Everyone likes pictures. Less wordy words, more fun pictures. So, dear friends, let me chronicle for you the last month for me.

I had a pirate-tastic bachelorette party.

Highschool, College and Adult-Life friends all in attendance. And dressed as pirates.

Even my mom came ready to pillage.

then, I got married. Before you ask, yes, married life is treating me pretty well and please don't ask about babies.

We rehearsed it.
Given away.Taken (sexy)back.


Did a little posing.
Did a little dancing and made some kissy faces.

Taught young ones the art of "fingerguns". I think she's got it.
And still had time to hang out with some more pirates.

then, I honeymooned in exotic locales.
Like the back deck of a cruise ship where they didn't allow children, had ample sun, empty deck chairs and frequent waiter visits from the bar. A place where a newly married girl could shake her new husband in the casino and reading smut and Civil War historicals all by her lonesome. THAT'S a vacation.

And some windy putt putt on the top deck of the ship after a formal dinner.

Hair in my face does not alter my golf skills. I have no golf skills.

The sunniest moment we had in Cartagena, Colombia as we sailed into port. He was still sleeping and I was busy mastering the "self-taken" shot. I'm getting so awesome at it.

And then it rained. And then we experienced the lagoon that is the poor urban drainage and sewer systems of Cartagena's Old Walled City. I have no idea what the significance of this statue cluster is. Seriously. But let's play "Find Cathy's Feet". At which point the Mister says, "Do you think the sewers are so bad here that we're wading in raw sewage?" Thanks for saying that outloud, my love. It wasn't a real worry until just then. (Note: I spent the majority of the time in Cartagena quoting "Romancing the Stone" to the Mister only to find out that he had never actually SEEN it. Which is a crime unto itself. So then I just spent the day saying "Jo-ahn Wyyy-l-der" in my best Colombian accent.)

And then we drank Colombian coffee. Which warmed up our drenched rat appearances.

And as we sailed away, the rain miraculously and ironically stopped. And then we were dry again.
Early morning arriving in Panama.

The Panama Canal -- arguably one of the most impressive feats of engineering. Like the nerd that I am, I have awaited this Canal trip for a very long time. It was nothing short of amazing.

The cruise ship itself is considered to be "Pana-Max" -- meaning it is the largest permissible dimensions for passage through the Canal. While in the loch, the ship had no more than two feet of buffer on either side. And we never bumped - not even once. It was an amazing operation. The picture here looks down the side of the ship from our balcony to the concrete of the Canal below. Notice our proximity to the edge.


With the cruise ship, we sailed from the Atlantic through the first set of lochs to the Gatun Lake where the Mister and I boarded a very small passenger boat that took us the rest of the way to the Pacific. Wouldn't you know -- it rained most of the day.

As the water empties from the loch, the ships in the loch go down with the water level. This loch took us down nearly 35 feet, hence our ability to touch the wall. So they say, and so we're gullible enough to believe, a married couple touching the wall of the Canal is destined to be together forever. Which makes no sense whatsoever. But, I wager, with this legend plus the Crim Dell where we became engaged, I think I've got this "forever" thing in the bag, man.

The largest doors in the entire Canal system. They were built and shipped each as one piece from Pittsburgh, PA -- the Mister's hometown and site of our recent nuptials. These doors fit together to within a few millimeters of accuracy, metal-to-metal, creating a perfect water seal when shut without rubber or other materials.

We boarded a bus to traverse Panama back to our awaiting cruise ship that evening. My camera is still catching its digital breath. The Mister was quoted at one point saying, "I think you have enough pictures. Seriously. Stop taking pictures."

And then I got rigged up the next day to zip line through the rain forest in Costa Rica. Scared straight by the infectious disease doctors at work, convinced I would come home with Malaria/Yellow Fever/Typhus, I appeared to be the only asshole on the excursion with any real intent on covering up and closing the would-be mosquito buffet of my integumentary system.

I warned him, I swear I did. But he decided to shirk the long sleeves. Point of him keeping a nurse around only to ignore her: none. (He didn't get bitten and remains disease free. But that's beside the point.) Ah, love at 250 feet above the rain forest floor. (P.S. No bug bites. Not a one. Could have been the 35% DEET spray I was wearing, too. Or the 3rd world variety vaccines I got before I left. )

And finally, the pinnacle of the trip. Being conned into a cruise ship game show whereby I ended up stuffing balloons into a sumo suit to beat out a Norfolk, Virginia (ironic to come so far to end up so close to a neighbor) firefighter (who beat me by one damned balloon!). And the crowd went wild.

I shook it at someone else's wedding days after returning from our honeymoon.

I traveled to Tucson for a dear, dear friend's wedding which I was honored to be a part of.

You'll note that he is the pirate from my wedding. Yeah, we make the rounds.

Wow, it's so nice when it isn't your wedding.