Sunday, June 11, 2006
Whooooo are you? Who-who, who-who? I really want to know.
I've come to the conclusion that while the internet is quite possibly one of the most amazing innovations of the modern world as we know it, it also has one huge, glaring downside. It provides a certain obligation-less, irresponsible anonymity to folks who are too afraid to say/do that in public.
Example #1: Craigslist. Please, go to your city's craigslist and just look at their rants and raves section. People are saying terrible, hateful things to one another. Things that I know they wouldn't have the set to say to anyone's face. They are judgmental and seem to exemplify all the things that are seedy and underhanded about our consequence-less culture. I hate to think I share grocery stores and highways with some of these people who probably look no different than anyone else. If they had to actually attach their name or their face to such posts (and I'm pretty sure most of these guys can't be identified by the photos of their nether regions), I'm sure it would be a far less cut-throat bulletin board.
Example #2: Internet pedophiles. Com'on, I watch Oprah and Dateline. These perverts hide under the cloak of the internet hunting and stalking their prey -- and hell, using the internet to display their conquests. Sure, some of them use the old-fashioned method of "the kid next door will do", but by and large, it is the internet that allows them their jollies.
This is all not to say that half of these people aren't the pimplie, greasy Star-Wars-poster-hanging-in-my-mom's-basement-where-I-still-live-at-age-37 kind of people and they are using the internet as their medium to stand up for themselves and launch their revenge on the world in Times New Roman 12 in some chat room without fear of being pummeled by the big guy or given an atomic wedgie.
Maybe what I'm getting at is this: I've been watching a pair of the super sweetest sneakers on Ebay for D.A.Y.S. I haven't bid yet because I don't want the rest of the internet to sense that these sneakers are, in any way, desirable. There were no other bidders and the coast looked clear.
I'm the real runner here.
I'm the one who is wearing old, beat up tennies.
I'm the one who needs the new ones at a decent price because I'm a full time student.
And I'm the one who has been checking up on them every few hours, like a new mother, to make sure they're still ok and if they need anything while they sit and wait for the mailman to take them to me.
With 10 minutes left, I finally felt ok about making the bid. I refreshed every few minutes and things were still copasetic. I started surfing a little while I waited for that victorious "You have won the auction" tagline. With 8 seconds left, I was still in the clear. And upon refresh I learned "Bidding for this item has ended. You were outbid". WTF?!
Who is this masked wo/man? S/he may as well have lingered behind me at the sale rack waiting for me to finally place my hands on that last awesome pair of capris that are only in my size before SNATCHING it from me and tearing to the register. But no, that wouldn't happen in a store, right? Too many onlookers. Too much SHAME involved. How is it different online? Ah, because they don't have to see the look of utter disappointment on my face. They don't have to stand the crusty stares from society (and me, and mine are the crustiest).
The betrothed popped his head from his office to ask why all the shouting.
I sadly whined "I was outbid at 7 seconds!"
He shrugs and says nonchalantly "Oh, you were sniped. Yeah, it happens."
So there is a name for this crime?! I was sniped. Tell me, what exactly is the point of DAYS of auctioning if it only comes down to the last 7 seconds?! Where's the fun and, indeed, the purpose of auctioning if you sneak in like a thief in the last 7 seconds. This wouldn't stand at Sothebys.
Well, Mr. Sniper. I hold you no higher than internet pedophiles and the rag-tag potty-mouthed posters on Craigslist. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Hiding behind your monitor like that. You may have won this time (well, you clearly won this time), but this is not over. Be sure that I know every inch of those sweet, sweet sneakers. And if you be the runner your underhanded purchase portrays you to be, I shall meet up with you, Sniper. You can certainly run in those shoes, but you can't hide their totally awesome tangerine highlights.
And to you, sweetest shoes. I shall remember you always, and will hold the dream of us together forever in my heart. Well, at least until I find a pair sweeter and preferably cheaper than you. If you can, untie and afford your new owner a closer look at the pavement for me.
Example #1: Craigslist. Please, go to your city's craigslist and just look at their rants and raves section. People are saying terrible, hateful things to one another. Things that I know they wouldn't have the set to say to anyone's face. They are judgmental and seem to exemplify all the things that are seedy and underhanded about our consequence-less culture. I hate to think I share grocery stores and highways with some of these people who probably look no different than anyone else. If they had to actually attach their name or their face to such posts (and I'm pretty sure most of these guys can't be identified by the photos of their nether regions), I'm sure it would be a far less cut-throat bulletin board.
Example #2: Internet pedophiles. Com'on, I watch Oprah and Dateline. These perverts hide under the cloak of the internet hunting and stalking their prey -- and hell, using the internet to display their conquests. Sure, some of them use the old-fashioned method of "the kid next door will do", but by and large, it is the internet that allows them their jollies.
This is all not to say that half of these people aren't the pimplie, greasy Star-Wars-poster-hanging-in-my-mom's-basement-where-I-still-live-at-age-37 kind of people and they are using the internet as their medium to stand up for themselves and launch their revenge on the world in Times New Roman 12 in some chat room without fear of being pummeled by the big guy or given an atomic wedgie.
Maybe what I'm getting at is this: I've been watching a pair of the super sweetest sneakers on Ebay for D.A.Y.S. I haven't bid yet because I don't want the rest of the internet to sense that these sneakers are, in any way, desirable. There were no other bidders and the coast looked clear.
I'm the real runner here.
I'm the one who is wearing old, beat up tennies.
I'm the one who needs the new ones at a decent price because I'm a full time student.
And I'm the one who has been checking up on them every few hours, like a new mother, to make sure they're still ok and if they need anything while they sit and wait for the mailman to take them to me.
With 10 minutes left, I finally felt ok about making the bid. I refreshed every few minutes and things were still copasetic. I started surfing a little while I waited for that victorious "You have won the auction" tagline. With 8 seconds left, I was still in the clear. And upon refresh I learned "Bidding for this item has ended. You were outbid". WTF?!
Who is this masked wo/man? S/he may as well have lingered behind me at the sale rack waiting for me to finally place my hands on that last awesome pair of capris that are only in my size before SNATCHING it from me and tearing to the register. But no, that wouldn't happen in a store, right? Too many onlookers. Too much SHAME involved. How is it different online? Ah, because they don't have to see the look of utter disappointment on my face. They don't have to stand the crusty stares from society (and me, and mine are the crustiest).
The betrothed popped his head from his office to ask why all the shouting.
I sadly whined "I was outbid at 7 seconds!"
He shrugs and says nonchalantly "Oh, you were sniped. Yeah, it happens."
So there is a name for this crime?! I was sniped. Tell me, what exactly is the point of DAYS of auctioning if it only comes down to the last 7 seconds?! Where's the fun and, indeed, the purpose of auctioning if you sneak in like a thief in the last 7 seconds. This wouldn't stand at Sothebys.
Well, Mr. Sniper. I hold you no higher than internet pedophiles and the rag-tag potty-mouthed posters on Craigslist. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Hiding behind your monitor like that. You may have won this time (well, you clearly won this time), but this is not over. Be sure that I know every inch of those sweet, sweet sneakers. And if you be the runner your underhanded purchase portrays you to be, I shall meet up with you, Sniper. You can certainly run in those shoes, but you can't hide their totally awesome tangerine highlights.
And to you, sweetest shoes. I shall remember you always, and will hold the dream of us together forever in my heart. Well, at least until I find a pair sweeter and preferably cheaper than you. If you can, untie and afford your new owner a closer look at the pavement for me.
# posted by Cathy @ 6:06:00 PM 
